Preview: Steelers vs. Browns

So the Steelers are set to take on everyone's chic pick to win the AFC North. What all the prognosticators failed to mention that the Browns still have the same problems affecting them as last year. Namely, a shitty defense.

Dallas dispatched the Browns easily last week. Tony Romo, who is said by many to be better than Large Benjamin despite winning exactly dick, torched the Browns secondary for 300 some yards.

What I see happening for the Browns: The Browns won't give the Steeler's shaky line a real test because their pass rush is average. They paid Shaun Rogers all this money to stuff the run. Rogers, who is said to have all the talent in the world, is more or less a fat, lazy pussy. Kamerion Wimbley is the only player worth a damn on their defense (obviously because he's a former Seminole). Their secondary as mentioned before is pretty bad on top of being banged up at safety.

Anderson and company will get their yards and points but this will happen long after the outcome has been decided. Sgt. Winslow and Braylon Edwards will have decent games. Former cocaine peddler, Jamal Lewis, will get a whole lot of nothing. On a tangent here, if any of us got caught setting up cocaine deals via phone we'd be locked up for about five years. This asshole got to spend a summer in a country club prison and was released.

What I see happening for the Steelers: Look for Ben to have his way with this secondary to the tune of 250 yards and at least two scores. Willie will see the 100 yard mark again this week getting a bulk of the carries in the second half to seal the deal. Santonio Holmes will vastly improve on last week's performance with at least 80 yards and a score.

On the defensive side of the ball, the Steelers will shut down the coke peddler and force Anderson to bomb away. He'll get his but he'll also take a couple sacks and throw a pick or two.

PREDICTION: Steelers 31, Clowns 20



Bonus prediction of the week: Ohio State @ USC

I see ESPN has already given this game a clever little moniker: The Collision at the Coliseum. If you think all the shameless self-promotion is bad just wait till they get a hold of the SEC next year. The nuthuggery will become unbearable.

Back on point here...

Chris "Beanie" Wells is now listed as doubtful for this game. I have a hard time rooting for someone with the name Beanie but that's beside the point. I didn't like their chances even if he was healthy. Look for USC to shut down the running game and force Boeckman to beat them which he won't. King Pryor will have a minimal impact on this game.

The vaunted Ohio State defense will help keep USC at bay but I don't see them doing enough offensively to win it. Mark "Dirty" Sanchez and the backfield loaded with former McDonalds all-americans and receivers that were former McShits all-americans will manage enough offense to win. Another tangent here....I think USC is up to something fishy. Why in the hell would all these blue-chip skill positon talent come to USC to ride the pine or split time? Resident crybaby Mitch Mustain transferred from Arkansas just to watch Sanchez start at QB. I dunno just seems to me that Cheatin' Pete is up to something.

Prediction: USC 21 OSU 13

Other college predictions:
Kansas 24 USF 17. Reesing does just enough to win.

Georgia 21, South Carolina 7. South Carolina's defense keeps this close.

Michigan 13, Notre Dame 7. First one to 10 wins. Jimmy Clausen, a.k.a. Sunshine/douche bag, will get sacked at least 5 times.

Fresno State 17, Wisconsin 14. In somewhat of an upset special for the week, look for Fresno to shut down P.J Hill and make Wisconsin QB Allan Everidge to beat them. I don't think he can.

Florida State 49, Chattanooga 0. Young FSU offense gets another confidence builder. Real test for Seminoles next week against Wake Forest.

Random stuff....I see on the new poll I'm somehow a worse person than Hitler and Bin Laden. Very nice.
Bice and I square off in fantasy football and I predict that he'll get beat worse than he beats his penis on Saturday nights.

Until next time......

10 Questions About the Upcoming Penguins Season

We have all been so caught up in the return of our beloved Steelers that some people have forgotten that Penguins season gets underway very soon. Preseason starts in a short 9 days with the Pens taking on the Lighting and the regular season starts in less than a month on October 4th in Stockholm against the Sens. There are a number of things I am looking at as the season gets underway.



1.) Will Evgeni Malkin bounce back after a piss poor performance in the playoffs? I thought at first it was a load of shit that Malkin plays better without Crosby. I thought it was just that he finally turned on the switch and was just going to continue to dominate with Crosby's return. But durning the playoffs he slowed considerably and just did not come up big for us. Who knows what the outcome would have been if Malkin had been playing in the playoffs like he did in the regular season. Hopefully he can bounce back to form and take kids to school like he did last year.



2.) Am I the only one who is super pumped that Ryan Whitney is hurt? Ryan Shitney, what the hell happened to you? I thought he was going to be the next Gonchar with even better defensive skills. He gets the big check and starts shitting himself. He couldn't keep the puck in on the PP he was making bonehead passes and mistakes that led to a lot of scoring chances for opposing teams. Hopefully with the 3 months or so he is going to need to take a seat we can have a Marc Andre Fleury effect on him. The best thing that happened to Fleury was being able to sit back and watch how Conklin managed the game. If Shitney does that, he could get back to the level we need him to be at, and if not, he is some serious contention for trade bait. Him being out also leads me to my next point...



3.) Will this season be a breakout year for Kris Letang? I have loved Letang since I first set eyes on him (not in a gay way). He's got a great shot, great speed, solid skating, great puck handling, good D. You name it the kid has it. With Shitney on the bench Letang will get more time on the PP. I think his fear of shooting the puck that he had last year will go away. I think some of the rookie mistakes will go away. I'm not saying his game will be perfect, the kid is still young. I am going to say though watching him this past year and seeing that when he did make a mistake he hauled ass and did everything in his power to fix it, I'm sure any concerns or issues with his game will be resolved coming in to this season and he will be a big piece of the puzzle this year.



4.) Will Marc-Andre Fleury continue his outstanding play? As I mentioned before, the best thing that ever happened to MAF was getting hurt last year. He came back a smarter goalie with better stick skills and more control. He is one of if not the most athletic goalie in the league. When he gets his style and form perfected, not only will he make the routine great saves, but he can make the saves that no other goalie can make just because of his athletic abilities. My only concern is that in the past he has shown himself to get rattled and be a little inside his own head, if he can shake the head trash the man will be a top 5 goalie.



5.) Could it be .....Satan? I want to see what this guy, along with Fedotenko, can do playing on a line with Crosby or Malkin. They have produced in the past, I want to see how they are going to fit in the puzzle.



6.) Will losing Malone, Laraque, and Ruutu etc. be a big deal? I have never been big on Ryan Malone, I think he played great in the playoffs and everything but the truth his his production never really went up even when playing on lines with 2 of the best players in the world. Even a shithead like Robbie Brown looked like a hero when he was playing with Mario. Malone was a behemoth who sat in front of the net, get any big guy in front and Malkin and Crosby will get you 25 goals. I'm more concerned with losing our tough guys. I loved Ruutu, and Big Georges for that matter. I am just hoping that Cooke and fill in when Ruutu left off and Godard can handle the puck behind the net or an entire shift like Laraque could.


(This picture is on the Pens Blog, It is hilarious)

7.) Will God smack the Red Wings with an injury to Hossa? You should never wish ill will upon someone so I am not saying I want Hossa to get hurt. I'm just saying wouldn't it be kind of funny if he did get hurt. That or Detroit didn't even make the playoffs. That might be even better. He wanted to go to a team that he thought had a better chance of winning the cup and they don't even make the playoffs. Lets all cross our fingers.



8.) Will the Pens stay healthy? Fucking high ankle spains galore last season almost jepordized the year for the Pens. Injuries will happen, but I think that for the most part the team shouldn't have the issues of last year and be for the most part healthy.



9.) Will Jordan Staal get out of his offensive funk? Jordan Staal is my boy. He plays great defence, is great on the PK and has solid all around skill, not to mention he is still a teenager. He was getting great chances last year and coming up short. His rookie season the shots that he had going in would hit the post last year. He still got the scoring chances and he still played great all around hockey. He had a very soild playoffs and I think that showed his maturation as a player and I think he will feed off that for this season. The scary thing about Staal is that he is so young he will only put on more muscle and get bigger, faster and stronger. I just really hope he is not a salary cap casualty at the end of this season because I think he is going to have 30-40 goals when it is all said and done.



10.) Last but not least will the Pens repeat as Eastern Conference champs? Short answer, Yes they will. There is no reason why the Pens should not repeat. Sure they lost Hossa, but we didn't have him for the majority of the season. I think that there are no teams in the East who can match the Pens, if they come out of the gate swinging this season instead of lolligagging like they did last year, I think the Pens should end the regular season tops in the East. They should then be able to march back to the Cup Finals and hopefully take the whole damn thing.

So there you have it. I just had to let people know we have not forgotten the Pens and as the season quickly approaches. Also, let's all take a moment to realize that as a city Pittsburgh has some of the greatest sports teams in the world. I hope all of you reading this realize how lucky we are to be able to go to Heinz Field to watch the Stillers or Mellon Arena for a Pens game and yes even PNC park to watch the Succo's. This shit is so sweet. Let's go Pens.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

So. This has been a crazy week in the world of football. Focusing on the college game it was still quite interesting and will get to be even more interesting this weekend. We shall focus on a team that is just south of the Mason Dixon line, WVU (West Virginia University). WVU lost to ECU this past Saturday, 24-3. A big time blow to WVU after so much hype from last seasons success. So lets dive in, shall we!

Best Case Scenario

WVU currently has a record of 1-1. They opened with a victory over Villanova and then lost to ECU (Eastern Carolina University). Lets say that loss to ECU is a huge fluke. The schedule for WVU looks pretty soft to say the least. WVU should easily defeat Colorado, Marshall, Rutgers and Syracuse to improve to a 5-1 record. Next on the schedule would be Auburn, who should be in the SEC championship game this year. I say WVU loses this game to fall to 5-2. With all Big East schools remaining on their schedule, WVU can't afford to lose anymore games. WVU will defeat Connecticut, Cincinatti and Lousiville to improve to 8-2. I say they win out over Pitt and South Florida to finish at 10-2 and in a major bowl.

Worst Case Scenario

WVU is dealt a major blow to their confidence and it shows for the rest of the season. WVU would still manage to win all of their games leading up to the Auburn game where they get pounded and fall to 5-2. The Big East proves to be tougher than WVU anticipated and they lose to Connecticut, beat Cincinatti and beat Louisville to have a record of 7-3. WVU then loses out to Pitt and South Florida to finish at 7-5.

The Prediction

It is easy to start evaluating teams like I am and be completely wrong in the predictions. But the loss to ECU had to effect WVU mentally. This could be a sign of things to come, or it could be a complete fluke. Either way WVU has no chance at beating Auburn, so that will be another loss for them. I think that honestly South Florida is the only other threat on the schedule unless Pitt comes around. But another loss to a non-contender is possible. I say WVU finishes the season at 9-3 and bowl eligible, but not winners of the Big East.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

For those that don't know, WVU was pounded by ECU (Eastern Carolina University)24-3 this past Saturday. ECU upset both Virginia Tech and West Virginia on back to back weekends to start the college football season. So lets take a look at the remainder of the ECU football schedule and see whats in store for them...

Best Case Scenario

ECU has started off with a 2-0 record against two legitimate college football teams. Both WVU and VT were supposed to contend for titles this year. So, lets say ECU is a contender this season. The ECU schedule looks fairly easy from here on out. This week against Tulane is a win, leaving the Pirates with a 3-0 record when they play North Carolina State and Houston. I would say that these are wins. NC State and Houston aren't pushovers and could be upset games, but for not if ECU is a legitimate team, they are wins. So that leaves ECU with a 5-0 record heading into the game with Virginia. Virginia was picked to finish with a record of 5-7 according to Sports Illustrated, so this I would say is a win. ECU is now 6-0 heading into their game with Memphis which is a win. UCF is next on the schedule and could cause some problems. UCF just played Big East contender USF pretty tough this past weekend, so this could be a loss, but I am thinking that ECU's momentum takes them to another win. In fact I think ECU could probably win out with victories over Marshall, Southern Miss, UAB and UTEP. This would make ECU 12-0 heading into the Conference USA championhip game against Tulsa. Given the momentum ECU has from the start of the season they beat Tulsa to finish 13-0 and maybe have a chance at a New Years Day bowl.

Worse Case Scenario

ECU was picked to go to the Conference USA championship game, so we'll say they still get to go, but just not with the record everyone thought they would have. After starting off 2-0, ECU picks up wins over Tulane, NC State and Houston to have a 5-0 record heading into the Virginia game. Virginia beats ECU, in what would probably be an upset to leave the Pirates with a 5-1 record. ECU then falls into a roller coaster trend for the next several weeks, beating Memphis, falling to UCF, beating Marshall then losing to Southern Miss to have a record of 7-3. UAB pulls of another upset and then ECU defeats UTEP to finish the season with a record of 8-4. They would fail to make the Conf. USA championship due to their loss to Southern Miss, ending their season with a below average bowl.

The Prediction

ECU's 2-0 start is no fluke. They will surely win at least 11 games this year. Predicted to go 9-3, I would say that two of those losses were supposed to be against VT and WVU. They roll through the season with UCF being their only tough remaining game. Meeting Tulsa in the Conf. USA championhip will show the kind of team Skip Holtz has. I say 12-0 and Conf. USA champs.

At some point this week, I wil break down the Notre Dame schedule and the remaining WVU games in another best case/worst case scenario. Stay tuned...

1-0: Steelers beat down Texans

The Steelers came out and set the tone early in a 38-17 victory over the Texans. Fast Willie had 138 yards and three scores. He already surpassed last season's total of 2. Big Ben was a coldly-efficient 13 out of 14 for 137 and two touchdowns. Peter King will still insist that Carson Palmer is better quarterback. Hines Ward caught two touchdowns and had 76 yards receiving. Would have been more if a 75 yard gain wasn't negated on a very questionable pass interference call.

James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley set the led the way for the Steeler's D. Harrison recorded 3 sacks and Woodley had a sack, fumble recovery, and an interception. Say hello to the best linebacking group in the NFL. Just wait till Timmons gets on the field more.

What to take from this victory? Houston isn't nearly as bad as they looked (or the Steelers made them look) and this was an impressive win over a decent football team. Everything was clicking on all cylinders. Houston's points were all scored in garbage time.

Only things I saw of concern was Roethlisberger was under some heat a little more than he should have been. Then again, Mario Williams is a beast (the Texans did the right thing drafting him over Reggie Bush). Santonio Holmes had a so-so game but don't fear his numbers will go up.

Looking at the rest of the AFC North, Cincinatti is a train wreck waiting to happen. Horrible offense/horrible defense. How in the blue hell do you let Joe Flacco run for a 30 something yard score? Just wait till their miscreants start acting up. Cleveland received a healthy beating from Dallas. Their defense still sucks. My grandma and Stephen Hawking can get open on their secondary. The Ravens are starting a rookie QB and their defense is another year older. Things are looking good for the division.

News out of New England (see Stein's post) is that Brady is dunzo. If that's the case that's one less obstacle in the Steeler's way. By the way Bice, since you're in Boston you better be taunting the Patriot fans.

The Browns are up next for the Black and Gold.

Patriots Lose Brady For Season

BREAKING NEWS

I am sure everyone has heard the news by now. New England Patriots QB Tom Brady will miss the remainder of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. The hit happened in the 1st quarter of the Patriots/Chiefs game. I was able to catch a replay and it was simliar to the hit put on Carson Palmer by Steelers tackle Kimo Von Olehoffen, aka Kimo Therapy. This leaves the Patriots with unproven backup Matt Cassell. This is horrible news for the Patriots. But if you are a fan of any other team in the AFC, then you have to be breathing a sigh of relief. I never like to see another player go down hurt. I respect Tom Brady because he is a good quarterback. But do I like him? Not so much. His injury leaves the favorites of the AFC as the Colts and Steelers. Don't rule out the Patriots; for all we know this is another one of Bill Bilichecks shenanigans. But you have to wonder who the frontrunner of the AFC East is now. The Bills or the Jets? The Jets are a much improved team with Brett Favre, but even though they beat the Dolphins today, we are still talking about two teams that won a combined 5 games last season.